Tourism and television overlap. The same digital camera view gazed at by thousands every day and edited and refined till reality is diluted out. This reached its nadir/zenith in Regensberg on the Danube in Germany where one tour party followed another- like a piece of string tied to itself – beside the inevitably pretty street cafe we were idling at. At this point it felt like the only way to make any headway at all along the Danube was to follow the man in tweed holding a ping pong bat above his head. The only other option being to offer ourself to the tour party hordes, like a rockstar surrendering himself to the audience, to be carried aloft like Bono, hand above upraised hand along the tour party queue and, finally, reach our destination. We would have been happy to do this but would haven’t trusted them with our bikes.
Regensburg’s consolation was a big bun like creation called a “Bumpkf” served in a large saucer of custard. This, apparently, was “breakfast”. In the UK custard is not allowed as Breakfast. This, Jet thinks, should change. The liberal democrats should use what little leverage they have to alter the constitution. Yellow is, after all, their colour…
Oh lord save us from the tour parties when we get older. We’ll settle for a comforable armchair, a good book and a Bumpkf bun in a bowl of custard.